I STILL Hate Fantasy Football Players!

I Hate Fantasy Football Players pt. 2
5/24/20
Chris Robin https://twitter.com/DetroitBeastie

Lets be honest for a moment. How many of the “Guys” from I Hate Fantasy Football Players did you relate to? Not saying you personally just league mates or close personal friends? Judging by the comments I’d say a lot of you!

As most of us are home this holiday weekend it’s always great to sit back, relax and recharge. With the start of summer upon us we all shift to a different attitude. A positive outlook if I may say. Most days the sun is out and up for twelve hours. The weather is absolutely perfect. We’re able to spend more time outside doing whatever it is that we enjoy. Optimism at its finest!

Go rest and relax this weekend!

Right now is just a good time to clear your head and reset your brain. Out with the old and in with the new kind of thing. Almost like a purge! Clear out all those nasty thoughts! Write them down then burn the paper. Scream into your pillow! Go to confession at church! Or write a I Hate Fantasy Football Players Pt.2!

So as we continue on today be mindful of a few things. This article is my winter purge. Hopefully I’m given amnesty and/or asylum by you the reader. This article is nothing personal! I’m not attacking anyone personally! Just a fun way to spin my thoughts and ideas!

If you missed the original, I Hate Fantasy Football Players check it out here! https://www.dfscheatsheet.com/i-hate-fantasy-football-players/nfl/05/

1. In Too Many Leagues Guy.

This one hits close to home. I feel as if this is a phase for all of us. In the current day and age of social media it’s easy to get caught up in always saying yes. “Yes I will join another dynasty start up!” Who cares if it’s #756 of the off-season! I get it! We don’t want to be rude when our friend asks or our favorite follow on Twitter asks. Who am to judge? Telling you right now you’ll grow out of it! If not, that’s fine too. Only reason I mention In Too Many Leagues Guy is because of the self sabotage it creates. Trouble keeping up with trade offers, forgetting to put claims in and even forgetting to set your weekly roster! Why put that kind of stress and anxiety on yourself?

2. Expert Opinion Guy. (AKA: end all be all guy)

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times, social media is toxic! It’s actually fantastic and quiet helpful too. All depends on what you’re looking for! By a show of hands, how many of you have gotten into a battle and/or tussle with someone on social media? Wow! That many of you? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t see that coming. Why? Let me guess! Was over a stat or ranking of player. No one wants to admit their wrong, or too high or even too low. This guy is among the worst person you can encounter on social media. I picture Steve Irwin (crocodile hunter guy) shouting, “Oh crickey mate!” It’s a lose/lose situation! There is absolutely no point arguing or trying to prove your own valid point! Even with facts, photos or back from others Expert Opinion Guy doesn’t care! He keeps going and going and going! Don’t let Expert Opinion Guy get to you! Keep it moving and if possible sever all contact! You’ll be better off for it!

3. Always Takes and Never Gives Guy.

Another slime ball snake, this guy is truly a miserable misguided human being. Have any of you heard the old saying, “you can only keep what you have by giving it away!”? I’ve learned over the years were not all the same. As human beings we are all different and unique. Yet a large group of us share some similarities. Take for example the fantasy sports community. Or the fantasy sports writers community. It’s a large, fun and supportive environment. Quite selfless if you ask me. Yet every once in a while you’ll run into the, “hey I need a favor!” guy. We’ve all come across a person like this in our lives. Whether its at work, school or our social life. Gets what he needs an disappears! Now translate that to your fantasy league! It can be one of a million things! Push that trade through, I’ll owe you one. Lets swap draft picks, I’ll owe you one! Or the infamous, “borrow me a few bucks for the league dues, I’ll owe ya one!” Just an absolutely greasy rat. When you call on the favor to be re-paid it’s always, “uhhh I don’t remember that?”

4. Late Paying League Dues Guy.

Almost a seamless transition from greasy rat guy to Late League Paying Dues Guy! What do you find worse? A league mate skipping out on dues or the commissioner ripping people off? Regardless of your answer, everything get tricky when dealing with money. Just like a relationship after you’ve had sex. I’m in no way qualified nor do I want to get into sex and relationships. Trust me, not good for anyone involved. Moving on, when it comes to cash payouts and fantasy football there are a select few people who lose their minds! Cheaters, manipulators and owners willing to cross lines all for a few bucks. We’ve all seen it and unfortunately most have been a part of something like this. The only positive here is the fact that if you fool me once you’re out of the league. These kind of deadbeats seem to weed themselves out and bounce from league to league like some kind of boneless loser. Good riddance!

5. Trade Veto Guy.

Everyone one of these “Guys” really pisses me off but there is a special place on our shit list for trade veto guy. Without fail, trade veto guy acts out of selfishness and/or fear. I’ve long been of the belief that who am I to veto and/or judge how another owner manages his/her team? Yet every flipping year we run into this coward! “Hey bro I can’t let that trade go though! It hurts the long term prospects of the league mannnnn!” Ha! Uh, no! It hurts your ego and this seasons long term prospects of your team winning! Maybe if you built better relationships with other team owners or took the head out of your own ass you’d get to work and do a better job of building your own roster! Instead you’re too busy being worried about what every one else is doing! Shut your mouth, take it like a man and let us have fun and trade! If you’re not trading you’re not trying! Whew! That felt good to get out!

6. Constant Contact Guy

Every league has one! Let me explain! It can be two fold. Waiver wire constant contact guy. Constant contact trade guy. Two separate guys or in a rarest of cases the same guy! Meaning, after every move you make to better your team this guy always has something to say. I mean EVERYTHING you do! Every add, every drop, every offer, every trade and every single mother flipping time you update your, “OTB (on the block)”! It gets ridiculous but if you’re easy going enough it can be fun! “Hey man, I see you traded away Calvin Ridley for Brandin Cooks but why?” Or the lovely, “Why’d you cut that guy?” message. Listen, I’m always thankful and happy for good active owners but I’m never in any mood to hold your hand and walk your through every single move I make and why! To be honest with all of you, sometimes I don’t know why I add and drop who I do. Other times I’m thinking 3-4 steps ahead! It happens how it’s supposed to and I’m rarely willing to give the entire league a thesis project on my waiver wire habits! Leave it alone! Leave me alone!

7. Age Obsessed Dynasty Guy.

What’s the real issue here? A team owner freaking out and basing all research on age and years played in the pros right? It’s extremely frustrating talking to or trying to trade with this guy. I came across a post on social media today in regards to an age obsessed dynasty guy drafting some of these rookie WR’s (Mims and Higgins) over DET WR Kenny Golladay. I’m going to refrain from giving my opinion on this one. Just know I find it absolutely ridiculous! AOD (Age Obsessed Dynasty) Guy can also double as EO (Expert Opinion) Guy. Two peas in a pod. Two people I want nothing to do with!

Lucky number 7! Thank you for reading along! Thank you for following, all the comments and fantastic interactions! I look up to all of you! I respect all of you too! If we can all continue to lifting each other up and supporting one another then sky’s the limit!

Here are a few bonus guys I’d like to mention!

Collusions Guy(s).

This player is close to Always Takes Never Gives Guy. Although the definition of collusion is, secret cooperation between people in order to do something illegal and/or underhanded. It’s cheating! Lets call it what it is! Cheating! Taking the easy way and/or cheating in any aspect of life isn’t tolerated well. There is no place for cheating fools in fantasy football. It is quite common but it’s up to us to weed it out root and stem!

No Woman Allowed Guy.

Really? It’s 2020! This isn’t the woman’s right liberation of 1960. Men are allowed to use the woman restroom. Woman are able to use the men’s bathroom. What ever gender you “identify” as is it. In today’s day and age we’re all allowed to follow are dreams. This is the United States! Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness people! Expand your horizons and educate yourself! I know quite a few ladies who would mop the floor with me as far as stats and fantasy sports are concerned!

Flexing Thursday Night Football Players Guy.

This idea caught my eye today on social media! I laughed out loud when I read everyone’s disgust for the TNF Guy! To each is own although historically for fantasy purposes our Thursday Night Football players don’t play well! I have no harsh feelings for TNF Guy one way or another. Just a fun thought to close out the article!

Thank You!

Again, thank you for reading! Fantasy football is supposed to be fun! I wish everyone a safe and happy Memorial Day! Thank you to all the first responders and male/female service woman that work tirelessly everyday to protect our way of life!

Any questions or comments? Leave one here!

Find me on Twitter right here! https://twitter.com/DetroitBeastie

Or on DFScheatsheets.com https://twitter.com/dfscheatsheet1

Thanks again! Talk soon!

I Hate Fantasy Football Players

I Hate Fantasy Football Players
5/18/20
Chris Robin https://twitter.com/DetroitBeastie

If you’ve played fantasy sports as long as I have you get to know your league and the team managers well. Even if you have taken an orphaned team over in a league full of strangers it’s always the same! Certain owners fill certain criteria.

If you’ve been in one league you’ve been in them all. Just like seeing a pair of boobs. If you’ve seen one pair you’ve seen them all but that doesn’t take away the excitement of seeing more right?

If you missed Morals & Mottos find it here! https://www.dfscheatsheet.com/fantasy-football-morals-and-motto/nfl/05/

Most of the time our leagues are filled and played with people we know and sometimes love. The only constant is the disgust and disdain we feel in certain situations. How many times has another owner left your trade offer message on read?

There is always an owner(s) who love a crafty vet! There is always an owner(s) who loves just rookies! There is always an owner(s) who is always rebuilding. There is always an owner who has held the league hostage by dominating for years on end. There is always an owner(s) who is always in rebuild mode. There is always an owner(s) who is perpetually stuck in last place.

What is your biggest fantasy football pet peeve? Here is a list of some well known fantasy team owners we cannot stand! In no particular order.

1. Never Happy, Always Changing Roster Guy.

We all know this one. Making roster moves constantly. Dropping one player for another then adding back the guy that was cut in the first place. Always hanging in that 5th to 6th spot in a 12 team league. In doing so there is perpetual hope they can climb the standings. Yet never does.

2. Leaves You on Read Guy.

One of my biggest fantasy pet peeves ever! “I’m looking to trade!” This is the message you get in your group chat. After sending a well thought offer over followed by a quick, “sent” to the owners inbox. It sits there with no reply, no counter and zero communication!

3. Home Team Guy.

This guy just winds up screwing himself. Goes out of his way to draft or add players from his hometown team and/or favorite team. In some cases it can pan out given what team is supported most. More than likely it just becomes a hindrance. The “Homer Guy” is also likely to become, “Only Getting my Guy” guy. In my Morals & Mottos article #2 was always get your guy. Within reason though. Home Team Guy turns into over reaching guy who then turns into doesn’t win a thing guy.

4. Way-Too-Serious Guy.

Fantasy football should be fun. If not, walk away. I have championed this and yelled it from the mountain tops. The Way-Too-Serious guy lives his life based on his fantasy football teams results. Throwing beer, breaking televisions and yelling at his kids. It’s not fun and it gets ugly fast. Personally, this is the lowest of the low.

5. First Pick Guy.

Few things about this guy. Has your leagues commish shockingly and surprisingly just landed the #1 overall selection? Weird right? What about the First Pick Guy who tries to hold the league hostage? Thinking they can do and say whatever they want. Or thinking the entire league wants this pick and is willing to sell the farm to obtain it. Either way, “Number One Pick Guy” will find a way to screw it up.

6. Horrible Trade Offer Guy.

A large majority of you hate this guy. If I take it a step further, this is your biggest fantasy pet peeve. Personally, I find it funny! I could argue both sides so why don’t I? When Horrible Trade Guy sends an offensive offer to Way-Too-Serious Guy sit back and watch the show. If you’re anybody else just decline and move on. What is your stance on taking a photo of a horrible offer then posting in your group chat?

7. Auto-Drafter Guy.

Auto-Drafter Guy is like your fun Uncle who you idolized growing up. He shows up to Christmas dinner late with a six-pack of beer. Lives life on his own terms type of thing. When it comes to draft day you get all the owners together, everyone is on the same page yet Auto-Draft Guy is in the wind. The simple action of setting a queue would suffice right? Auto Draft Guy actually screws people over due to the best possible player available being automatically chosen each time!

8. Expert Fantasy Advice Guy.

Isn’t this the guy the best? Not. I’ve compared fantasy football to guessing the weather. You can only do so much research. You can only make so many projections. It really is all a guessing game. So when some dummy in your league starts spouting off advice and criticisms on the decisions you’ve made tell him to get lost.

9. Takes Trash Talk Too Far Guy.

Are you easily upset? How mad would you be if I told you this Sunday my fantasy team is going to bend you over? That’s a pretty common trash talk statement. In the leagues I play in at least. At what point does an owner cross the line? Your kids? Wife? Deceased parents? Anyway you slice it once the line is crossed there is no going back. Don’t be a jerk. Don’t be this guy.

10. Disappearing Act Guy.

Every single league has this guy. Normally this owner is awesome right out of the gate. A ton of interaction leading up to the draft. Present during the draft and after! Then poof! Gone! Once his roster is full he’s gone! Doesn’t set his roster week to week. When he checks back in the realization of how bad it’s gotten sets in and he gives up. Gives up with 10+ games left in the season. This owner should be banned across the board.

11. Negative Nancy Rat Guy.

To be clear this guy is a snake and acts like a used car salesman. The idiot who offers you a trade and says, “You’re totally winning this offer bro!” Yeah? If that’s the case why don’t you keep the guy?! He’s also the snake who tries to get other owners together in a collusion type effort. Yet is a big enough rat to tell on others at the drop of a hat. Be aware of this guy. He always shows his true colors! This owner needs to be removed root and stem!

12. Four Leaf Clover Up His Butt Guy.

Pretty self explanatory! I’ve seen cases where it’s the most unassuming team owner. The last minute person you asked to join just to fill the league in time to draft. Your grandma? Father in-law? Most of the time it’s an owner who know nothing about football. Just likes the color of the team jerseys.

In closing, if any of you don’t understand one of these then that’s which fantasy player you are! What? Bad Trade Offer Guy doesn’t make sense! I like that guy! Guess what? You’re probably Bad Offer Guy!

Thank you for reading! Any questions or comments?

Did I miss someone? Who would you add? Let’s talk about it!

Find me on Twitter right here! https://twitter.com/DetroitBeastie

Or on DFScheatsheets.com https://twitter.com/dfscheatsheet1

I Will Always Love You!

I Will Always Love You
5/7/20
Chris Robin https://twitter.com/DetroitBeastie

By a show of hands how many of you have been in love? Wow! That’s quite a bit! How many of you love fantasy football? Wow! That’s even more of you! What lengths would you go for your kids? Or significant others? Safe to say to the end of Earth? Or even the moon? How about your fantasy football teams?

The longer we play fantasy football the more connected we become. Do you remember your first ever fantasy football draft? What about that one guy who carried your team to a fantasy Championship?

Quick story if I may. In 2005 I drafted Carolina WR Steve Smith. The previous few seasons I was never a fan of his. He wasn’t anything special. Small guy with a big mouth right? I drafted him as my WR3ish with little to no excitement. Well Steve Smith went on to have a career season in all statistical categories. 103 catches, 1,563 receiving yards and 12 touchdowns. He carried my team to a fantasy Championship and I was in love!

Retired NFL WR and NFL Network Analyst Steve Smith

I will always love Steve Smith and it set in motion a sequence of fantasy football events that I still carry to this day. Here are a few.

Always get you guy! Draft or trade for the guy you enjoy watching!
Don’t listen to the clowns in your league who put you down for the choices you make!
Fantasy football is supposed to be fun! The moment it’s not, walk away.

That brings me to the topic of this article. Who are some fantasy football players you just can’t get over? Once again I asked social media and everybody came through in a big way!

1. ATL RB Todd Gurley
2. SEA WR Tyler Lockett
3. DAL QB Tony Romo (retired)

Retired NFL QB and CBS Analyst Tony Romo

4. TB TE O.J. Howard
5. LAC WR Keenan Allen
6. HOU WR Will Fuller V
7. PHI WR DeSean Jackson

Philadelphia Eagles WR DeSean Jackson

8. CIN WR A.J. Green
9. ARZ RB Chase Edmunds
10. CLE QB Baker Mayfield

Cleveland Browns QB Baker Mayfield

11. NO RB Alvin Kamara
12. SEA RB Marshawn Lynch
13. WR Josh Gordon (suspended)
14. NYG TE Evan Engram

New York Giants TE Evan Engram

15. FA TE Jordan Reed
16. CLE RB Kareem Hunt
17. LVR WR Hunter Renfrow
18. PIT WR Juju Smith-Schuster

Pittsburgh Steelers WR Juju Smith-Schuster

19. NO WR Michael Thomas
20. SEA RB Chris Carson

Thank you for reading! Any questions or comments?

Hang here for my Fantasy Football Morals & Mottos tomorrow!

Did I miss someone? Who would you add? Let me know in the comments! Let’s talk about it!

Find me on Twitter right here! https://twitter.com/DetroitBeastie

Or on DFScheatsheets.com https://twitter.com/dfscheatsheet1

Love or Hate?

Love or Hate?
3/26/20
Chris Robin https://twitter.com/DetroitBeastie

Do you know that feeling of hating someone within moments of meeting them? It’s an odd circumstance but it happens. Hate is a strong emotion. So let me rephrase it. Have you ever been irritated with a person moments after meeting them?

What about love? Do you believe in love at first sight? How many times have you been in love? I have a lot of questions today! It’s ok to be inquisitive! Especially when you’re learning or have an idea! You’ve trusted me so far so why would I let you down now?

By a show of hands, how many of you have read or seen the three people we fall in love with article? If not here’s a quick recap!

1. Puppy love

Normally happens while we’re young. Our first real girlfriend/boyfriend in high school. Nothing crazy yet the end of the world when its over. We recover!

2. Hard love

This one is a hurts! We learn plenty of lessons in this one! This love is unhealthy and unbalanced at times. This is always the one we wish we could have gotten right.

3. Curve ball love

We never see this one coming! When we’re not looking, BAM, hits us over the head! This love is also surprising, it’s not what we are used to but it lasts!

At this point lets stop and reset. How many of your relationships and love stories fit into these three categories? Tell me when you’re ready…

How was your trip down memory lane? During our intermission I closed my eyes and I could see the faces, smiles and laughs of the past.

Now the twist! You didn’t think I was going to mention love with no other thought or view point did you? That’s what I thought! We know each other well! Keeping with the same idea I have my own list.

The numerous people we come across in our lives we instantly hate! The first few paragraphs were ok, they were meh. Now we can get real and get into it!

1. Learning how to hate (simple hate)

This emotion flairs up when we’re little. After the age of ten and into our teenage years. Given our young age not much is expected of us. So what we have seen and experienced is quite limited. We may dislike our friends for a present or toy they’ve received. This distain is solely based on jealousy. What if you were to hold the door open for someone and they walk past like you didn’t exist? What obscenities do you whisper under your breath? I wouldn’t call it hate just yet but it’s planting the seeds for the next phase! Time to level up!

2. Heavy hate

This form of hate is the most nasty. Knock down drag out fights. We go all in with being despicable. This level of hate teaches us a few things. We learn how to be vindictive and really vicious. The heavy hate hits us while we’re in our early 20s. At this time we’re normally in school or working full time. I could also see the heavy hate phase not coming up until your late 20s too. At this point we’ve been burned a time or two and we take it out on co-workers, bosses or even our parents.

3. Hate we didn’t know we had in us

The description says it all. This phase will come in and out of our lives for many years. If you’re not careful this level of hate can have serious consequences! For example, lets say you are driving home and the douche in front of you stops on a dime then doesn’t use their turn signal. Initiate a full blown road rage meltdown. What about a dirt bag neighbor? You like to keep your house and lawn well maintained while the trash bag next door does not. Out of no where you find yourself putting dog poop in paper bags and lighting them on fire on their porch. See? These occurrences come out of no where yet you’re able to justify them in your mind.

Just a few things I’ve learned throughout my life and over the years. I’m big on being nice and showing others love. Hate is just too exhausting! It’s like drinking poison and hoping it kills the other guy! Makes no sense. In today’s day and age there is no place for hate far as I’m concerned. As human beings we can’t help but to feel a wide array of emotions. It’s up to us carry the message and to be positive. You will attract a lot more pleasant people and experiences!

Keep up the good work! Hang in there!

Be safe and talk soon!

Chris Robin https://twitter.com/DetroitBeastie