I Hate Fantasy Football Players pt. 2
Chris Robin https://twitter.com/DetroitBeastie
Lets be honest for a moment. How many of the “Guys” from I Hate Fantasy Football Players did you relate to? Not saying you personally just league mates or close personal friends? Judging by the comments I’d say a lot of you!
As most of us are home this holiday weekend it’s always great to sit back, relax and recharge. With the start of summer upon us we all shift to a different attitude. A positive outlook if I may say. Most days the sun is out and up for twelve hours. The weather is absolutely perfect. We’re able to spend more time outside doing whatever it is that we enjoy. Optimism at its finest!
Right now is just a good time to clear your head and reset your brain. Out with the old and in with the new kind of thing. Almost like a purge! Clear out all those nasty thoughts! Write them down then burn the paper. Scream into your pillow! Go to confession at church! Or write a I Hate Fantasy Football Players Pt.2!
So as we continue on today be mindful of a few things. This article is my winter purge. Hopefully I’m given amnesty and/or asylum by you the reader. This article is nothing personal! I’m not attacking anyone personally! Just a fun way to spin my thoughts and ideas!
If you missed the original, I Hate Fantasy Football Players check it out here! https://www.dfscheatsheet.com/i-hate-fantasy-football-players/nfl/05/
1. In Too Many Leagues Guy.
This one hits close to home. I feel as if this is a phase for all of us. In the current day and age of social media it’s easy to get caught up in always saying yes. “Yes I will join another dynasty start up!” Who cares if it’s #756 of the off-season! I get it! We don’t want to be rude when our friend asks or our favorite follow on Twitter asks. Who am to judge? Telling you right now you’ll grow out of it! If not, that’s fine too. Only reason I mention In Too Many Leagues Guy is because of the self sabotage it creates. Trouble keeping up with trade offers, forgetting to put claims in and even forgetting to set your weekly roster! Why put that kind of stress and anxiety on yourself?
2. Expert Opinion Guy. (AKA: end all be all guy)
If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times, social media is toxic! It’s actually fantastic and quiet helpful too. All depends on what you’re looking for! By a show of hands, how many of you have gotten into a battle and/or tussle with someone on social media? Wow! That many of you? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t see that coming. Why? Let me guess! Was over a stat or ranking of player. No one wants to admit their wrong, or too high or even too low. This guy is among the worst person you can encounter on social media. I picture Steve Irwin (crocodile hunter guy) shouting, “Oh crickey mate!” It’s a lose/lose situation! There is absolutely no point arguing or trying to prove your own valid point! Even with facts, photos or back from others Expert Opinion Guy doesn’t care! He keeps going and going and going! Don’t let Expert Opinion Guy get to you! Keep it moving and if possible sever all contact! You’ll be better off for it!
3. Always Takes and Never Gives Guy.
Another slime ball snake, this guy is truly a miserable misguided human being. Have any of you heard the old saying, “you can only keep what you have by giving it away!”? I’ve learned over the years were not all the same. As human beings we are all different and unique. Yet a large group of us share some similarities. Take for example the fantasy sports community. Or the fantasy sports writers community. It’s a large, fun and supportive environment. Quite selfless if you ask me. Yet every once in a while you’ll run into the, “hey I need a favor!” guy. We’ve all come across a person like this in our lives. Whether its at work, school or our social life. Gets what he needs an disappears! Now translate that to your fantasy league! It can be one of a million things! Push that trade through, I’ll owe you one. Lets swap draft picks, I’ll owe you one! Or the infamous, “borrow me a few bucks for the league dues, I’ll owe ya one!” Just an absolutely greasy rat. When you call on the favor to be re-paid it’s always, “uhhh I don’t remember that?”
4. Late Paying League Dues Guy.
Almost a seamless transition from greasy rat guy to Late League Paying Dues Guy! What do you find worse? A league mate skipping out on dues or the commissioner ripping people off? Regardless of your answer, everything get tricky when dealing with money. Just like a relationship after you’ve had sex. I’m in no way qualified nor do I want to get into sex and relationships. Trust me, not good for anyone involved. Moving on, when it comes to cash payouts and fantasy football there are a select few people who lose their minds! Cheaters, manipulators and owners willing to cross lines all for a few bucks. We’ve all seen it and unfortunately most have been a part of something like this. The only positive here is the fact that if you fool me once you’re out of the league. These kind of deadbeats seem to weed themselves out and bounce from league to league like some kind of boneless loser. Good riddance!
5. Trade Veto Guy.
Everyone one of these “Guys” really pisses me off but there is a special place on our shit list for trade veto guy. Without fail, trade veto guy acts out of selfishness and/or fear. I’ve long been of the belief that who am I to veto and/or judge how another owner manages his/her team? Yet every flipping year we run into this coward! “Hey bro I can’t let that trade go though! It hurts the long term prospects of the league mannnnn!” Ha! Uh, no! It hurts your ego and this seasons long term prospects of your team winning! Maybe if you built better relationships with other team owners or took the head out of your own ass you’d get to work and do a better job of building your own roster! Instead you’re too busy being worried about what every one else is doing! Shut your mouth, take it like a man and let us have fun and trade! If you’re not trading you’re not trying! Whew! That felt good to get out!
6. Constant Contact Guy
Every league has one! Let me explain! It can be two fold. Waiver wire constant contact guy. Constant contact trade guy. Two separate guys or in a rarest of cases the same guy! Meaning, after every move you make to better your team this guy always has something to say. I mean EVERYTHING you do! Every add, every drop, every offer, every trade and every single mother flipping time you update your, “OTB (on the block)”! It gets ridiculous but if you’re easy going enough it can be fun! “Hey man, I see you traded away Calvin Ridley for Brandin Cooks but why?” Or the lovely, “Why’d you cut that guy?” message. Listen, I’m always thankful and happy for good active owners but I’m never in any mood to hold your hand and walk your through every single move I make and why! To be honest with all of you, sometimes I don’t know why I add and drop who I do. Other times I’m thinking 3-4 steps ahead! It happens how it’s supposed to and I’m rarely willing to give the entire league a thesis project on my waiver wire habits! Leave it alone! Leave me alone!
7. Age Obsessed Dynasty Guy.
What’s the real issue here? A team owner freaking out and basing all research on age and years played in the pros right? It’s extremely frustrating talking to or trying to trade with this guy. I came across a post on social media today in regards to an age obsessed dynasty guy drafting some of these rookie WR’s (Mims and Higgins) over DET WR Kenny Golladay. I’m going to refrain from giving my opinion on this one. Just know I find it absolutely ridiculous! AOD (Age Obsessed Dynasty) Guy can also double as EO (Expert Opinion) Guy. Two peas in a pod. Two people I want nothing to do with!
Lucky number 7! Thank you for reading along! Thank you for following, all the comments and fantastic interactions! I look up to all of you! I respect all of you too! If we can all continue to lifting each other up and supporting one another then sky’s the limit!
Here are a few bonus guys I’d like to mention!
This player is close to Always Takes Never Gives Guy. Although the definition of collusion is, secret cooperation between people in order to do something illegal and/or underhanded. It’s cheating! Lets call it what it is! Cheating! Taking the easy way and/or cheating in any aspect of life isn’t tolerated well. There is no place for cheating fools in fantasy football. It is quite common but it’s up to us to weed it out root and stem!
No Woman Allowed Guy.
Really? It’s 2020! This isn’t the woman’s right liberation of 1960. Men are allowed to use the woman restroom. Woman are able to use the men’s bathroom. What ever gender you “identify” as is it. In today’s day and age we’re all allowed to follow are dreams. This is the United States! Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness people! Expand your horizons and educate yourself! I know quite a few ladies who would mop the floor with me as far as stats and fantasy sports are concerned!
Flexing Thursday Night Football Players Guy.
This idea caught my eye today on social media! I laughed out loud when I read everyone’s disgust for the TNF Guy! To each is own although historically for fantasy purposes our Thursday Night Football players don’t play well! I have no harsh feelings for TNF Guy one way or another. Just a fun thought to close out the article!
Again, thank you for reading! Fantasy football is supposed to be fun! I wish everyone a safe and happy Memorial Day! Thank you to all the first responders and male/female service woman that work tirelessly everyday to protect our way of life!
Any questions or comments? Leave one here!
Find me on Twitter right here! https://twitter.com/DetroitBeastie
Or on DFScheatsheets.com https://twitter.com/dfscheatsheet1
Thanks again! Talk soon!