I Hate Fantasy Football Players
5/18/20
Chris Robin https://twitter.com/DetroitBeastie

If you’ve played fantasy sports as long as I have you get to know your league and the team managers well. Even if you have taken an orphaned team over in a league full of strangers it’s always the same! Certain owners fill certain criteria.

If you’ve been in one league you’ve been in them all. Just like seeing a pair of boobs. If you’ve seen one pair you’ve seen them all but that doesn’t take away the excitement of seeing more right?

If you missed Morals & Mottos find it here! https://www.dfscheatsheet.com/fantasy-football-morals-and-motto/nfl/05/

Most of the time our leagues are filled and played with people we know and sometimes love. The only constant is the disgust and disdain we feel in certain situations. How many times has another owner left your trade offer message on read?

There is always an owner(s) who love a crafty vet! There is always an owner(s) who loves just rookies! There is always an owner(s) who is always rebuilding. There is always an owner who has held the league hostage by dominating for years on end. There is always an owner(s) who is always in rebuild mode. There is always an owner(s) who is perpetually stuck in last place.

What is your biggest fantasy football pet peeve? Here is a list of some well known fantasy team owners we cannot stand! In no particular order.

1. Never Happy, Always Changing Roster Guy.

We all know this one. Making roster moves constantly. Dropping one player for another then adding back the guy that was cut in the first place. Always hanging in that 5th to 6th spot in a 12 team league. In doing so there is perpetual hope they can climb the standings. Yet never does.

2. Leaves You on Read Guy.

One of my biggest fantasy pet peeves ever! “I’m looking to trade!” This is the message you get in your group chat. After sending a well thought offer over followed by a quick, “sent” to the owners inbox. It sits there with no reply, no counter and zero communication!

3. Home Team Guy.

This guy just winds up screwing himself. Goes out of his way to draft or add players from his hometown team and/or favorite team. In some cases it can pan out given what team is supported most. More than likely it just becomes a hindrance. The “Homer Guy” is also likely to become, “Only Getting my Guy” guy. In my Morals & Mottos article #2 was always get your guy. Within reason though. Home Team Guy turns into over reaching guy who then turns into doesn’t win a thing guy.

4. Way-Too-Serious Guy.

Fantasy football should be fun. If not, walk away. I have championed this and yelled it from the mountain tops. The Way-Too-Serious guy lives his life based on his fantasy football teams results. Throwing beer, breaking televisions and yelling at his kids. It’s not fun and it gets ugly fast. Personally, this is the lowest of the low.

5. First Pick Guy.

Few things about this guy. Has your leagues commish shockingly and surprisingly just landed the #1 overall selection? Weird right? What about the First Pick Guy who tries to hold the league hostage? Thinking they can do and say whatever they want. Or thinking the entire league wants this pick and is willing to sell the farm to obtain it. Either way, “Number One Pick Guy” will find a way to screw it up.

6. Horrible Trade Offer Guy.

A large majority of you hate this guy. If I take it a step further, this is your biggest fantasy pet peeve. Personally, I find it funny! I could argue both sides so why don’t I? When Horrible Trade Guy sends an offensive offer to Way-Too-Serious Guy sit back and watch the show. If you’re anybody else just decline and move on. What is your stance on taking a photo of a horrible offer then posting in your group chat?

7. Auto-Drafter Guy.

Auto-Drafter Guy is like your fun Uncle who you idolized growing up. He shows up to Christmas dinner late with a six-pack of beer. Lives life on his own terms type of thing. When it comes to draft day you get all the owners together, everyone is on the same page yet Auto-Draft Guy is in the wind. The simple action of setting a queue would suffice right? Auto Draft Guy actually screws people over due to the best possible player available being automatically chosen each time!

8. Expert Fantasy Advice Guy.

Isn’t this the guy the best? Not. I’ve compared fantasy football to guessing the weather. You can only do so much research. You can only make so many projections. It really is all a guessing game. So when some dummy in your league starts spouting off advice and criticisms on the decisions you’ve made tell him to get lost.

9. Takes Trash Talk Too Far Guy.

Are you easily upset? How mad would you be if I told you this Sunday my fantasy team is going to bend you over? That’s a pretty common trash talk statement. In the leagues I play in at least. At what point does an owner cross the line? Your kids? Wife? Deceased parents? Anyway you slice it once the line is crossed there is no going back. Don’t be a jerk. Don’t be this guy.

10. Disappearing Act Guy.

Every single league has this guy. Normally this owner is awesome right out of the gate. A ton of interaction leading up to the draft. Present during the draft and after! Then poof! Gone! Once his roster is full he’s gone! Doesn’t set his roster week to week. When he checks back in the realization of how bad it’s gotten sets in and he gives up. Gives up with 10+ games left in the season. This owner should be banned across the board.

11. Negative Nancy Rat Guy.

To be clear this guy is a snake and acts like a used car salesman. The idiot who offers you a trade and says, “You’re totally winning this offer bro!” Yeah? If that’s the case why don’t you keep the guy?! He’s also the snake who tries to get other owners together in a collusion type effort. Yet is a big enough rat to tell on others at the drop of a hat. Be aware of this guy. He always shows his true colors! This owner needs to be removed root and stem!

12. Four Leaf Clover Up His Butt Guy.

Pretty self explanatory! I’ve seen cases where it’s the most unassuming team owner. The last minute person you asked to join just to fill the league in time to draft. Your grandma? Father in-law? Most of the time it’s an owner who know nothing about football. Just likes the color of the team jerseys.

In closing, if any of you don’t understand one of these then that’s which fantasy player you are! What? Bad Trade Offer Guy doesn’t make sense! I like that guy! Guess what? You’re probably Bad Offer Guy!

Thank you for reading! Any questions or comments?

Did I miss someone? Who would you add? Let’s talk about it!

Find me on Twitter right here! https://twitter.com/DetroitBeastie

Or on DFScheatsheets.com https://twitter.com/dfscheatsheet1

Leave a Reply